“Because your body, your mind, and the universe are in constant and dynamic exchange, stopping the circulation of energy is like stopping the flow of blood. Whenever blood stops flowing, it begins to clot, to coagulate. Whenever a river stops flowing, it begins to stagnate. This is why you must be open to giving and receiving in order to keep the life force circulating within you.
Have the intention to give something to everyone you come into contact with during the day. It might be a kind word, a compliemtn, a smile, a prayer, or a small gift. Similarly, be open to receiving the gifts that come to you during the day. They may be gifts from nature, such as the songs of birds, a spring shower, a rainbow, or a beautiufl sunset. They may be gifst from people in your life—a warm embrace, a kind gesture, a helpful. suggestion... Circulate love, caring, affection, appreciation and acceptance...”
December… the season of giving and receiving… such a sacred time.
In my college years I read a book whose title I no longer remember that spoke to the power of giving—and perhaps more importantly of receiving. We are taught lots about the value of giving, its importance and its value. We are taught that to give is holy.
What we are not taught so well is that receiving is equally important, equally valuable, equally holy. For if we do not receive, how can another give? So in many ways, in receiving—graciously, thankfully, with open hands and open hearts—we are gifting the opportunity to receive.
This is the flow. Without one, the other cannot occur.
Imagine how you feel when a friend is in need, facing some kind of crisis or loss. It is the nature of the human heart to want to reach out, to offer whatever it is we can to help this person through whatever difficult time they are facing. It feels GOOD to give. We need to give. In the most beautiful kind of way, we are anointed , and in turn healed, when we give.
And so, when we allow ourselves to receive, we allow for the anointing, the healing, of another. And when we don’t, we stop this from happening. As Deepak Chopra says in the quote above, things—Life itself—begins to stagnate.
This does not mean we need to receive everything anyone ever offers us—for there are times when another’s offering comes with strings attached or is not the most healing thing to do. But rather than automatically saying, “No, I’m fine.” let us stop and consider what it might mean to receive what is being offered. Is my reason for saying “no" simply an automatic response? Pride? Feelings of a lack of self-worth? Fear of connection? What might happen if allowed these things to fall away? Might I find myself more deeply connected to others? Don’t we all, in the end, need this connection?
Each time we give, each time we receive, we strengthen the bonds of connection, the fabric of community that is so very needed in our time. It reminds us that we are not alone, that none of us is an island, that it takes a village.
My own family is in the midst of one of these times right now. A new little being has been born into the family with what we think is a rare genetic bone disorder. (We must wait a few weeks for the official diagnosis, but this is what it appears to be…)
Little Carter is an adorable, sweet, beautiful little one. But his bones are very fragile and he must be handled with the utmost care. Lots of assistance is needed—with cooking, cleaning, care of his 3-year-old brother, medical bills, so many things.
But as humans do in times of need, many, many, many people have reached out. Family and friends from both sides have risen to the occasion, spending as much time as possible with my daughter and her little family. Friends and acquaintances and colleagues of my daughter and son-in-law are raising funds, cleaning their cars, bringing meals, offering support of all kinds. Medical professionals, too, are reaching out, offering resources, advice, and more.
It is not necessarily easy for my daughter and her husband to receive all this generosity. But they are doing it. Because they know it is needed. Because they want whatever support they can get for little Carter’s sake.
But it doesn’t stop there. Those of us who are in the trenches with her—my other daughter and her husband, my son-in-law’s mother, me—we, too, are being offered gifts beyond measure, support of all kinds, prayers for strength and fortitude, healing and hope, love and kindness—from friends, acquaintances, students, parents, colleagues, and on and on and on…
In the center is this tiny new babe. From there the ripples flow out, creating an ever-widening circle of love and support, giving and receiving—just like this story of long ago—the birth of a new baby who came to bring us gifts of love and light and who in turn was offered gifts from far and wide.
And so the flow of life goes on.
May you, too, be surrounded by beauty, the utter sanctity of both giving AND receiving during this holiday season.
Amen.